I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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