; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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