So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
