For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
