Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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