my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
