Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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