Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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