I got chris browned last night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
