She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i think im in europe. pls send help
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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