I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
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It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
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downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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