Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
