You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
