Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
