Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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