So drunk its hurt
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
