Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
These tits shall not be calmed
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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