Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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