So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
