Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize