Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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