I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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