is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
