So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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