I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is Oprah even human
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
