Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
