That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
