I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize