i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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