Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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