around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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