Your tits are I can't wait for
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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