Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
