I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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