We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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