the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
