Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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