In America we eat man semen.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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