She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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