Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
