Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
