Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize