You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
