If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize