I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
