what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
