I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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