Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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