She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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