You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
