he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
