he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize