her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How does it feel to date your dad?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
