And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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