just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
