You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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